Monday, December 10, 2012

I have been groomed
to be this way
but I have to say
it's better than what I otherwise
would have been

Saturday, December 1, 2012

You think this is insanity?

Think again.

Try standing on the ledge of a roof

shingles, slippery
squares

your feet slipping

never letting yourself REALLY fall

but you know this isn't normal.

Everyone thinks you're something else
beyond what you even pretend you are
but all you remember
is that rooftrop
especially when you try to sleep

Maybe you didn't die
but you wanted it
and that's close enough
to you.

Maybe you saved yourself
under pressure
but the You
inside your Head
wants to die
whether the "you"
inside your body
lets it happen or not.

My ego is dying,


dying.
slowly, slowly.
It’s beautiful
and ugly
at the same time.
Who am I?
I forgot
or never was
It seems that this time
I’ve been
successful
much like I always wanted
but so, so different

Finally you found me
but I was already
too far gone.

You pressed your mouth to mine,
and though I was alive,
I was very
dead.
Sighing with regret you decided
to leave me there
because a funeral would be
more than I deserved.

Instead you gave another girl
the devotion you once wa(i)sted on me
A death sentence
a trial and error
that was mostly  only
error
You won’t let time get away from you
anymore
You’re choosy now
as you should be

I ruined you.