Active Imagination Notes 01

Trying to write
is like trying to access your soul
which you may think is easy
because you Know Better
but you don't.

Everything is something different
every day
and I don't know how to reconcile that
but I know that it's a matter of
(I don't know how to finish this sentence, because it's bullshit)

I'm starting to realize
that I couldn't care less
how stupid you think I am
because I think you're stupid

You made me who I am
and I regret it
and often wish you were dead
and fantasize about your death
but that's not right

You're not who you think you are
I'm tired of the hinting
and double entendre
(which is a phrase I didn't learn
On My Own
but rather from
a terrible television show
as I've mentioned before)

I want you to know
That the hate that I feel
is something I'm working on

Can I just be honest?
I'm a shell
a fucking
shell

Okay?